Saturday, April 07, 2007

Everybody Lies

We need more contracts in life. From the little "I'll meet you there at 8" to "I'll always love you" to "The check is in the mail." Which brings me to the rant of the day, i.e., The Check.

I just left a job where I was quickly promoted from a $10/hr admin asst to Manager. No contract. Just verbal (can you see what's coming?). I was then promised $600 a week. Promised, but not written on paper. I took work home (which was not required), hired people for them, set up interviews, wrote manuals and contracts, etc.

When the unscrupulous liar of a GM I worked for decided I should not be a manager after all, he took back all of his financial promises and just gave me $10/hr for the hours I was on-site! Nothing for the hours I worked at home. Bastard.

People lie.

It hurts when it's a lover, but it pisses me off when it's someone who actually owes me money. It's not enough to take legal action - it's just a power play because he writes the checks and he's not paying for services rendered.

Have I learned this lesson now? GET IT IN WRITING.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Shut Up, Kirstie

I don't want to see her fat ass again. Fine, she's hit her weight goal she still looks a little zaftig - but hey, maybe they have slimming mirrors in the Scientology Center) but I'm just sick of her twirling around looking like a commercial for Playtex Living Bras.

And fuck that Jason, too, from Subway. Also not so trim.
Judgmental? Absolutely. I lost 20 pounds this summer and put all of it back on...

I took the "Kellogg's Challenge" (cereal for 2 meals and a very healthy 3rd one) and damn if it didn't work. I mean, pretty quickly and pretty well. But then I had some upsetting news and out came the junk. They may call the cookies low-fat put that doesn't help if you eat the WHOLE BOX. Ditto, ice cream. As I mentioned before, ice cream is my heroin. I had the thing licked but now I'd rather lick the thing.

And of course once you are gaining weight you start thinking:

* I'll stop now and nobody will notice
* Okay, just one pint because today sucked
* Okay, just one pint today because things didn't suck. A celebration!
* How many flavors can I actually try?
* Okay, this is my last container of rice pudding. I'll just eat half.
* Where is that rice pudding? Oh yeah, I ate it all last night

Need I go on?

Now why do I feel unattractive and stop going out to meet people? Maybe because I've gone to a size 36 and feel like Totie Fields, I think, as I shop "healthy" at Whole Foods.

Oh what the hell, I don't need to go out tonight --- I'll just watch TV and --- (passing the ice cream freezer) --- have I tried that flavor yet?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

I would much rather watch "A Christmas Story" than see Jimmy Stewart running through the snow in Pottersville. The man who made the film about the little boy who wanted "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and 'this thing', which tells time," was killed by a drunk driver this week.

Director Bob Clark, didn't do anything else to rival this "new classic" in my book. But this was enough for me.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I Have No Life

My friends worry. I am a TV junkie and the remote is my needle. And I'm not talkin' Masterpiece Theater...

When I mention Jo Frost, Goil, Gordon Ramsay and Sanjaya, they shake their heads and walk away. Most of them have boyfriends or bowling leagues or ceramics class to keep them busy at night. Me? I pull my pint of Ben & Jerry's close in anticipation and surf.

I tell myself I can kick the habit but when 8pm comes, I become Billie Holiday hooked on VH1. I pride myself that I have never sunk to "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" or those Danny Bonaduce/Andrew Dice Clay abberrations, but you will find my telephone turned off for "Work Out" and "Hell's Kitchen." There's something about being berated by a man in a uniform (even a chef's) that rings my bell. Now that "HK" is off, I get my fix watching Chef Ramsay on "The F Word."

In an effort to raise my culture-level at bedtime, I was given a copy of "War and Piece" by my friend Laurel. It makes a nice coaster for my Diet Coke and Cherry Garcia...